How to get along with your ex after divorce

If you have just gone through a divorce and have children, you are still going to have to communicate with your spouse for the long haul. It may be different to hear this, but you both have equal rights when it comes to parenting your kids. That means you’re going to have to learn to get along with your ex, for your children’s sake.

That’s not easy, especially if there are residual feelings of resentment, anger and bitterness. There’s a reason you got divorced, after all! But there are ways that you can get along with your ex that won’t harm your children, and will ease some stress for you as well. Your marital lawyer in the Summit NJ area may have advised you of these things, but it bears repeating. Here are a few tips:

  • Consider your role in the marriage’s demise: That is, come to terms with the fact that it takes to argue; it takes two to blame, and it takes two to deteriorate the relationship. Remember that at one time, you were very much in love with this person. While that love may have slipped away, you can attempt to remain civil with each other.
  • Don’t bad mouth your ex to your family or friends: As tempting as it may be, don’t go around town to all your friends and family disrespecting your ex. This just serves to harbor those harsh feelings and it will be very hard to let go and move on with your life.
  • Don’t bad mouth your ex to your children: This is the most important point, and one that many parents find the hardest to do. As frustrated as you may be with your ex, do not bad mouth him or her to your children. This confuses them, puts them in the middle of an impossible situation, and may make them resent you in the long run.

After your marital lawyer in the Summit NJ area has done their job and your divorce is final, the real work begins. You’re going to have to find a way to get along with your ex in a civilized and friendly way.

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